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Thursday, April 14, 2011

Holy crap, I just had a revelation!

I've written before about how I'm a defiant eater.  As ridiculous as this sounds, I am even defiant toward myself. I'll get on a good streak of eating healthy, and then I'll think "Wait a minute.. I haven't eaten something terrible for me in 3 days!  I can do it if I want to, by golly!"  So, inevitably I do.  I run through a drive through or order a pizza or something of that nature.  I don't know why I do that, except for the fact that I just like bad-for-me food.  I seriously LOVE fried food.  (I'm Southern, for goodness sake!  I can fry anything, AND make it taste good!)  But it never fails that two things happen when I let my defiant nature take over:  #1, I feel guilty, guilty, guilty, and #2, I think "What's the point?"

So after two good days, I started in on myself today.  I think a huge part of today's problem is that I didn't get but 4 hours of sleep last night, so I'm already tired and cranky.  We left for our run anyway, but then it started raining.  Not to be deterred, I headed for the club house instead.  I thought maybe, just maybe, Katie Beth would play on the carpet and let me hit up the elliptical.  Yeah, that lasted a whole 3 minutes.  So, back out we went.  It had stopped raining, yay!  But then, out of nowhere, I have a fussy baby.  We managed 2 miles in 40 minutes.  I got a decent sweat in, but nothing close to what my body needs to get a good burn.  Super sigh.

Once I got KB down for a nap, I got in the shower.  I immediately started thinking about what I could have for lunch.  I was thinking about driving out to Babies R Us to pick up a high chair for KB.  Hmm.. what's on my way?  There's a Wendy's out there, an Arby's in the mall.. All this delicious, terrible food.  Then it hit me!  This revelation, which is I swear, straight from God.  (No, thank you, God does not have anything better to deal with at this exact moment than my bad habits.)  What would I gain from eating badly?  Would a greasy cheeseburger really make me feel any better than the salad in my refrigerator?  No it wouldn't, and I would gain absolutely nothing.  I would also lose nothing, such poundage I want gone from my gut.  Eating healthily for one more meal, however, WOULD make me feel better.  I'd be proud of myself for jumping the hurdle.  

It's crazy to think how I've just made excuses so often over the past years.  Why didn't someone put this into my head before?  To be honest, someone probably tried to explain this and Defiant Emily probably glared at him or her with death-ray eyes while she took a huge bite of fried chicken.  With honey mustard.

1 comment:

  1. You are so funny Defiant Emily...with or without honey mustard!!!


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