August 29, 2010 - 5 days old - roughly 3 lbs

First night home!

Bed time?? Who has time for bed?!

Blowing bubbles with her friends

We had a bunch of appointments today, and they were all very productive!

We got KB's 12 month shots done, finally. I hate the thought of poor Pumpkin getting poked so I begged Jason to take the morning off work and go with us. I'll admit it - I'm a wuss when it comes to Baby Girl.  She was such a champ, though!

First up was her TB poke. It's required once a year for children in Hawaii because TB is still a problem here. Well, it's not required if the baby isn't in childcare, which KB isn't. I wanted to get it for her, though, because she does spend time with other children at her babysitter's and at church. You just never know, right?  My brave baby literally just watched the tech place the needle under her skin and inject her. Just watched it! She didn't even flinch!  Then we had to do HEP B. *It should have been finished at 6 months, but the awesome clinic in Guam didn't do it. Thanks guys, one more shot for Baby Girl to have to get today.* She handled that one like a rockstar, too. She watched, didn't even flinch, and didn't cry.  Then came Hep A.  Again, no crying.. but this time there was flinching. MMR was next, and she was beginning to be annoyed by the needles. She started crying about half-way through. Last was Chickenpox, and I'm sad to say she did cry. She didn't scream, though, and she only cried for about 30 seconds!  By the time we left the clinic 10 minutes later, she was blowing kisses to the nurses. She's such a sweet baby!

Next we met with KB's pediatrician for a weight check. On August 29, she weighed 14 lbs, 9 oz. Today she weighed 15 lbs, 1 oz. The ped explained that it was a good, normal growth rate, (13 grams a day.. and only other preemie parents will appreciate weight being measured in grams) but not the catch-up growth she would like to see in a preemie. Dr. Koss is referring us to a nutritionist at the hospital, with whom we'll probably meet next week. The nutritionist will have food/calorie/intake goals for KB to meet on a daily basis. I hope he/she has some ideas for fatty foods other than what we're doing right now, because we're lost. Right now she eats a lot of cottage cheese, avocado, and cheddar slices. She's doing alright with peanut butter, but it isn't her favorite.

Now on to me and BF2.  Today I met my OB for the second time. I got excited first of all because my blood pressure was so good at only 121/79. It's funny that I even notice that now, since my BP has been perfect my entire life. But when it sky-rockets once, you tend to notice the numbers later on.  Dr. Chapman came in and found BF2's heartbeat right away. I was hoping for an ultrasound, but it was not on her agenda for today.  We discussed a lot:  My baseline numbers (liver enzymes, platelets, etc) all came back completely normal from my first appointment.  I'm scheduled to meet my Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist in mid-October, around 18 weeks.  They'll run a bunch of tests on me and BF2, as well as do the full anatomy scan then.

Dr. Chapman put my mind a little further at rest about recurring problems. She told me that chances are higher in your first pregnancy, or your first pregnancy with a new father. Since Jason happens to be my baby daddy with both babies, my chances are lower of recurring issues.  I knew that little piece of information, but it was nice to hear it repeated by a professional.  We also discussed my aversion to meat. She'd like to see me getting a little more protein, so protein shakes and smoothies may be the answer.

All in all, today was great. I'm glad to know that I am progressing well, and that KB is gaining weight. Keep the prayers coming for all of us, please! We definitely appreciate them!

Most of the time, it's really hard for me to remember that KB is a preemie. - Besides that whole thing where she's really tiny for a 9.5 month old.  She has hit every single milestone right on track except for her first words.  (We're still anxiously awaiting that one.)  She rolled over early, she crawled a little early, she's got that pincer grip down pat, and she even just started pulling up and standing.  She's perfect.  Except... she hates to eat and she's not gaining weight very well.

For months this wasn't an issue.  I thought her reflux was finally gone because she was taking bottles so well.  We introduced solids and she did well with those for a little while.  Then, all of a sudden, she hates the bottle and she hates the spoon.  I don't know what changed!  She went from eating like a little champ (she loved carrots and squash and green beans) to clamping her lips down so tight I couldn't get the spoon in there if I tried.  She went from taking 25 - 28 oz a day to screaming and fighting us every time we try to bottle-feed her.



We've tried everything: bought back the dreaded Prevacid, which isn't so dreaded anymore.  KB actually likes the taste of it now.  Changed and re-changed formula brands. The pediatrician thinks this may be behavioral, that she just *doesn't want* the bottle anymore, but I don't know.  She also has us concentrating her formula, so that every ounce that does go down has a few extra calories.

About eating, it's a whole other story.  I think KB hates the spoon because I forced peas in a few times when I shouldn't have.  I feel like a bad Mommy, but I bet we've all done it.  Well, not anymore for us.  We've found baby-led weaning (from here on out I'll just refer to it as BLW), and it's been a God-send.  The basic concept is that since babies don't need food for nutrition just yet, why are we force-feeding them purees that they obviously hate?  A baby doesn't need to go through the stages of eating that Gerber would make us think they do.  As long as they put them in their mouths themselves, chunks are perfectly fine.  Most of the time it just falls right back out in the beginning, but it's good practice.  And no, she won't choke, I promise!  I put chunks of steamed veggies, fruit, whole wheat bread dipped in yogurt, all sorts of stuff in front of her.  Sure, sometimes she just plays, but she's getting better at actually making it to her mouth, keeping the food in there long enough to chew and swallow, and actually eating!

This is what meals look like now - here we have avocado and mango.

Since BLW is already what we're doing, the pediatrician has suggested that we give her the most fattening things we can.  She's eaten avocado every day for 4 days now.  Actually, I think she's starting to get sick of it, so I probably won't do that for tomorrow.  She has lots of whole milk yogurt.  This morning we tried scrambled eggs made with cream, but they weren't such a hit.  Mango was also not a hit, but she loves watermelon!

All this to say, we're still having feeding issues 9.5 months later.  It's hard.  My head hurts.  I need a beer.  I'll probably have one when she goes down tonight.  Because you know what?  Praise the Lord, my baby girl is a good sleeper!  I thank Him every single day that He gave me a good sleeper to make up for the fact that she's a terrible eater.

Almost every time we talk to Dr. Owens, KB's neonatologist, that's what he says.  "Don't tell her she's a preemie.. She doesn't know!"  The first time he said that, and he explained how amazing it was that she never had to be placed on oxygen, I thought he was just being cute.  Turns out, he's kind of serious.  Katie Beth really has been our little miracle baby, and we didn't even realize it.



I didn't know a lot about preemies three weeks ago. I mean, why would I, right?  Katie Beth was born at 33 weeks and 2 days.  She should have been far closer to 4 pounds than 2 pounds, 11 ounces.  But since she hadn't grown in utero for three weeks, thats what we got.  Her size alone should have dictated the need for oxygen, but nope.  She came out breathing and screaming just like a 33 weeker should, despite her tiny size.  Amazingly, her lungs were perfectly formed even though we didn't have time for me to get steroid shots.



The next little miracle was that she was able to take a bottle on the second day.  Granted, she could only take 2 ml of milk, but still... Katie Beth has only been on a feeding tube for a total of 3 days since she's been here.  Those times were because she got worn out trying to take the bottle.  Now that she's stronger, she's eating like a little champ!  She's up to 45 ml of milk per feeding, and she's also starting to nurse.  She is still small for nursing, so that part is taking some work.



Thirdly, Katie Beth has only had one sleep apnea episode in the 17 days she's been here.  That's really impressive for such a small preemie.  Sometimes they just sort of forget to breathe while they are sleeping.  Sometimes they have to be put on oxygen if that happens, but KB didn't.  The nurse just had to sort of wake her up, and she was fine.  The consequence of having sleep apnea episodes is that it pushes back their go home date.  KB isn't getting ready to come home quite yet, but if she was and she were to have an episode, it would set her back 7 days.



There are a slew of other problems that most preemies have that KB has never experienced.  Most preemies have problems with reflux, and can't keep their milk down.  Not our Pumpkin.  Some preemies have seizures, and we've been so blessed that she hasn't.  This little girl really is our miracle baby, and we are so very proud.    Again, I want to thank everyone for the prayers and thoughts.  Jason and I have been overwhelmed with the outpouring of love for us and for Katie Beth.

Disclaimer:  This is sure to be long..

On Saturday, August 21, I spent the day catching up with some of my best friends.  I met my brother for an early sushi lunch, met Ben for a late salad lunch, then met Jen and Lessa for a late dinner.  That night, the most painful experience of my life started about 2:30 am.  I jumped out of bed when my chest started hurting.  I don't mean that I kind of woke up with chest pain, I mean I physically jumped out of my bed, thinking "What the hell is wrong with me?!"  I had never had indigestion before in my life, so I had no idea that it really isn't supposed to be that bad.  I read a few articles online about home remedies and gave them a shot.  The one I read over and over again was a table spoon of baking soda in a couple of ounces of water.  I tried that along with a few others, and a few hours later, I tried it again.  The second time, I wasn't able to keep it down, so for the first time this entire pregnancy, I ran to the bathroom to throw up.

While I was throwing up, I assume I pulled a muscle in my shoulder/chest area.  For the next two hours, I thought I still had indigestion, but it was muscle pain instead.  I finally fell asleep about 7:30 that morning.  I spent the rest of Sunday in and out of bed with chest pain, soreness from throwing up, and what I thought was a migraine.

As it turns out, all of those symptoms are signs of pre-eclampsia, and I had no idea.

The migraine persisted on into Monday, as did the sore shoulder.  Again, I thought this was from getting sick Saturday night, so other than taking a bunch of Tylenol, and finally a few Aleve, I thought nothing of it.  On Tuesday morning, I woke up really excited about meeting my new doctor and getting to see KB again.  I went into Mom's room and mentioned that I still didn't feel well, and the migraine was still hanging about, on top of now having small contractions in my back.  She just told me to tell the doctor, and that was all that was mentioned.

I got to the doctor's office, and the nurse took me back for my vitals.  Sorry if this is too much information, but the first thing I noticed was that my urine was extremely dark.  I'm a clear urine kind of girl, so this was enough to raise my eyebrows.  Next, the nurse took my blood pressure, which has never been high a day in my life.  "Hmm.. Your blood pressure is really high" she says.  She tests it again, twice, and then looked at me like she was worried.  I mentioned the headaches and back pains, and she took note of it.

My very first appointment with Dr. Kellum went a little like this.  He walked in the room, and started chatting with me.  After a minute or two, he asked if I felt puffy in my face.  I didn't think so.  Then he asked if my legs felt swollen.  I didn't think that, either.  So then he proceeds to tell me that there was 4+ protein in my  urine, which is really not good, especially coupled with my high blood pressure.  I said "My mom got pre-eclamptic with me, so I've been worried about that this entire pregnancy."  His response was "You're definitely pre-eclamptic.. here are your options."  He went on to explain how he wanted me to have an ultrasound and then be admitted to L&D at Woman's, and they were going to run some tests.  If those numbers came back "wrong", then it was quite possible we'd have a baby by the end of the week.

I was shocked!  This pregnancy has been so easy for me!  I haven't had the slightest complication.. not even nausea!  My first question, of course, was about Jason.  I wanted to know if we would have enough time for Jason to be able to get home before he induced labor, IF it came to that.  He said he thought so, but it may not even be necessary.. wait to call him until we see the numbers at the hospital, he says.  Ok, so instead I began making my family phone calls.  Mom, Dad and Mammaw were all put on alert, and I went down for my ultrasound.  The first thing the tech mentioned was that my amniotic fluid was indeed low, and that wasn't good.  Then she went on to say that Katie Beth was measuring three weeks smaller than she should be, and was only weighing around 3.5 lbs, when she should have been closer to 5 lbs.  That's really not good.  At this point, I had a feeling I wouldn't be released from the hospital, so I called to have Mom meet me there.

I got admitted, and the nurse comes in to check my blood pressure.  180/96 is apparently very, very bad.  She took some blood, and then said she'd come back with the Dr.  Dr. Kellum came back around a bit later, and said that we didn't have days to wait on this baby (which translated to: Jason won't be here).  With my blood pressure steadily rising, and the amniotic fluid being low, he wanted to take her that day.  He gave me about 4 hours to get whoever I needed to the hospital.

About 30 minutes later, Dr. Kellum came in the room with a really serious look on his face.  He explained that I was no longer being diagnosed with Pre-eclampsia, or even Pregnancy Induced Hypertension (which is really bad in itself), but his new diagnosis was HELLP syndrome.
H- Hemolysis
EL - Elevated Liver Enzymes
LP - Low Platelets
So, this is really, really bad.  We're delivering in 30 minutes.  So, in a matter of 5 hours I have gone from "Hi, Dr. Kellum, nice to meet you, I have a pretty rotten headache" to "Oh, I'm about to be a mom."

I called Jason back, and he had been in touch with pretty much everyone in his command... at 4 in the morning.  Good times ;)  I gave my mom strict instructions to be on the phone with Jason while the baby was born, and they took me to surgery.  They had explained that because of my low platelets, they would not be able to keep me awake during surgery.  No spinal for me, straight to general anesthesia.  I was pretty sad that I wouldn't be able to see Katie Beth the minute she was born, but I didn't get much of a choice.  So, because I was going completely under, Mom couldn't come in the room with me.  Oh well.. at least now she will be able to be on the phone with Jason.

Katie Beth was born at 3:28 pm on Tuesday, August 24th.  One of the nurses took the phone from Mom and ran back into the room so he could hear Katie Beth crying.  He was actually able to hear her the same minute she was born, and that means a lot to me.



I woke up about 30 minutes later, and my first question was "How big is she?"  I was so scared for this baby girl.  I honestly remember thinking right before I fell asleep on the table that I didn't care about what happened to me, just please let that baby be ok.  When they told me she weighed 2 lbs and 11 oz, I started crying hysterically.  That is so small!!  The nurses assured me that she was perfectly healthy, just really small.  They said she had not needed oxygen at all, so that means her lungs were fully matured.  They told me that she came out screaming, which is also a good sign, and that Jason had been able to hear her.  All of that made me really happy, but then they brought her to me.  I can barely remember actually holding her for the first time, but I remember thinking that she looked like her Daddy.  Apparently everybody else thought so too.

This is what 10 lbs of extra water in my body looks like.  Not pretty.

The next 24 hours are a huge blur and seem more like a dream.  I was on Magnesium to bring my blood pressure down, so I wasn't allowed anything by mouth.  I turned into a very irritable girl because I wanted water so bad, but that pretty much didn't happen for the next 24 hours.  The nurse was nice enough to bring me some ice late the first night, and later the next day, but that was it.  The nurses were the best I could have asked for.. They were extremely patient with me, and I know I wasn't an easy patient.  I was just so mad that I couldn't have any water, and then that everybody else was getting to hang out with my baby and I wasn't.  By everybody, I really just mean Mom and Dad, since they were the only ones allowed to go back, but still... I was mad.

Aquarium Baby

I finally got to see Katie Beth late on Wednesday.  I couldn't believe how incredibly small she was.. It was hard, but I was so happy to see her.  Later that night I got moved to my own room, and life became a little easier.  I got taken off all the medication, and was finally allowed some water!  This was reason for celebration, I tell you.  Broccoli cheese soup from McAllister's never tasted so good, and a shower never felt so good.  Well, except for that whole thing about how I was hardly able to stand, and Mom had to help me.. but it was nice anyway.



I was able to feed KB myself on Thursday  morning, and that was awesome.  I was finally fully "awake", so this is my first real memory of her.  Jason was flying in from Guam, and I couldn't wait to see him.  He got to the hospital about 6 pm, and we went straight to the NICU so Daddy could meet his baby girl.  Then we got my brother to pick up some Newk's for us :)



I was discharged on Saturday morning, and it has all been good since.  Katie Beth hasn't gained much weight yet, but she is back to her birth weight, which is good.  Her feedings increase every day, and she is up to 26 cc's of milk per feeding.  That's pretty incredible since last Tuesday her little body could only take about 2 cc's per feeding.  Jason is an amazing Daddy.  He feeds her, burps her, everything that I do.  We can't wait to have her home, but it's going to be a few weeks before she's ready for that.