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Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Mommy Confession

Here's a confession post, and it's something I feel like I'm not supposed to say.

I really miss working.

Don't worry, I can already feel the mental slaps from hundreds of women, many of my friends, coming my way.

I never, ever expected that I'd be a stay at home mom. To be really honest, I never expected that I would have that luxury. I am incredibly blessed to be able to stay at home with my babies, and I know that. But I really, really miss working.

I suppose the grass is always greener. I know full well that if I had a 40 hour a week job, I would want nothing more than to spend all day, every day with my beautiful babies. And to be honest again, I don't really want to *not* be with them, either. There's no way I would give up watching all the firsts I've been able to watch happen! I can't stand the thought of someone else spending all day with my babies while we are financially able to let me do that.

But on the other hand... I miss leaving the house every day. I miss the majority of my conversation taking place with an adult. As much as I love repeating every single word KB says, which I do, (I did it just because it felt natural, but as it turns out, it really helps their verbal abilities. Who knew?!) I sometimes would just enjoy quiet. I sort of envy people who get to spend a little time in traffic, alone with their thoughts.

I know what's caused this. Besides the fact that it's been a little over three years since I held a full-time job, my new problem is that I haven't made SAHM/W friends in Memphis yet. Memphis isn't a typical military city, so there aren't a million wives and kids hanging out while their husbands/daddies are working. Jason hasn't checked in to the command yet, so I haven't met any of the wives of his coworkers.

The coolest thing ever would be to find a job where I could take my babies with me. I can hold off until they start school if I need to, but if anybody has any ideas, just let me know!

2 comments:

  1. I know exactly how you feel! <3

    I missed working so much, I enrolled Lily in school and went back to work Part-time, 4 days a week. I waited until she was 18mos so it wasn't like Daycare, but more learning comes from it. She's flourished and blossomed being around other kids. She speaks so well, counts to 10, and knows most of her alphabet. Also, the school has web-viewing so I can log on whenever and watch her the whole day. It really eased my feelings about sending her.

    Plus, working has helped me to figure out who I am again. I felt like I was losing touch with who I was. I'm around adults and it's wonderful. And Lily loves school so it works out for all of us in the end! Going back to work was the best thing I could do for myself and my family. I'm a happier mommy/wife because of it! <3

    Good luck in whatever you decide.

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  2. I know how you feel, is one reason I got a job recently when the girls were both in school...but it turns out as much as I wanted that socializing with other adults, I definitely missed home and the things I "needed" to do that I felt I had no time to do in the end. I only worked part time too! I think though we all handle things differently and depending on the job too. I worked with kindergartners for 3.5 hrs and didn't want to deal with my own kiddos when I got home. I think you will find a good balance for you soon. I also think having friends w/ kids your own kids age helps too!

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