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Sunday, October 31, 2010

You gotta leave your behind in the past.

Isn't that how Pumba put it before Timon corrected him?  It's been a while since I saw The Lion King, but I'm pretty sure it went something like that, and boy is it true.

So much has changed in my life in the past two years, I can't even begin to list it all.  The major thing, obviously, is Jason.  I mean, my life did a 180 in just three short months (And thank God it did!).  Not only did God send this amazing man back to me, but in doing so, it got me out of here for good.  Never ever did I see myself married to a Sailor and living in Guam.  It was more like, married to a high school history teacher and living in Brandon.  It's funny how God has such a grander plan, and you never ever know how it's going to work out.  I'm rambling..

Anyway, being home brings a lot of things to the surface for me.  There's a memory on every corner around here, and not all of them are associated with good feelings.  There are things that I did and can't take back, and there are things that were done to me that still hurt.  I wish I was one of those people who could honestly just move on and get over the past.  But I'm not.. nowhere close.  Case in point: I've searched for my elementary school best friend on Facebook for years now, when we haven't actually seen each other since we were 12. * In case someone knows her, her name was Kim Thompson and she left Pearl to go to St. Andrew's after 5th grade.  Somebody find her for me :) *

My point is, when I'm not home these things don't bother me nearly as much.  Since I can't drive past my former best friend's street, I don't think about her.  I don't wonder how her life is going, or what she's doing.  She's a former friend for a reason, and it probably needs to stay that way.  Some people just aren't good for other people, and that is definitely the case here.  But I still wonder.  I don't have to do that in Guam, and I prefer it like that, I think.  I can't be the only person who feels this way.

And now I just want to say that I hope KB listens to me when I tell her someone is bad for her.  It will happen.  If she's anything like me, she'll spend her life thinking she can fix the unfixable, and they'll eventually bring her down to their level.  So for future reference:  Katie Beth, your mother is a font of wisdom and you should listen to everything she says, even though she will NEVER tell you the stories that caused her to gain such wisdom.