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Saturday, March 3, 2012

Anxious rambling

*Disclaimer: After re-reading, I realize that I'm just rambling. I'm sorry for that, but I can't find a better way to articulate what's in my brain. Thanks for bearing with me!*

Despite every fear and anxiety I've faced since July, Baby G has made it to full term! I think I'm still a little bit in disbelief that we're even here. I honestly never, ever expected to make it this far. Yet here we are, at 38 weeks, happy, healthy and READY!

I do have a few more anxieties, though.

For instance, ......

Holy moly, I'm going to have two kids! 

IN SIX DAYS!

I'm nervous about the c-section recovery, about getting into the swing of breast feeding a baby, and about balancing a newborn and a toddler. 

I'm feeling a little guilty for not being able to be the Mommy that KB is used to once G gets here. I cried when I put her to bed tonight because, in less than a week, I will miss a lot of bed times. I won't be able to lift her into her crib for a while. 

My baby girl is a little bit rambunctious, and I often get clambered over while she's playing. Come Friday, that will be a big no-no. We've been working on "be gentle with Mommy!", but she hasn't quite grasped the concept.

She doesn't understand that there is a baby coming, either. Not that I would expect her to, though.. she's a bit young for that. She does, however, kiss and pet my belly because that's where the baby is. Those are some of my favorite moments.

The good news is that KB is completely obsessed with babies. Whenever she sees a baby, she gets so excited and points it out. I'm just hoping that she still feels that way when there is a baby in her house. 

4 comments:

  1. So happy for you and Baby G that you've made it full time and he's plenty baked! What a relief for you all I'm sure!

    I can completely sympathize with your feelings knowing these are the last bits of time that KB will be an only child, getting all of Mommy's focus. I remember feeling horrible guilt when Little was due to come along, that these were the final days of just being with the elder. No lie, more than one breakdown over that. It's totally normal! But it's such a blessing to see the elder sibling bond with the baby, and the family grow in size and in love.

    Thinking about you all in the coming days and praying that things go smoothly!

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  2. I fully get where you are coming from about having a toddler and a baby. Jd was 2 when I had Adalyn. He didnt understand about the baby coming either but he knew there was a baby in mommys belly. I'm praying for you that you will be as amazed as I was. Jd absolutely loves his baby sister. He has been so gentle from day one and he loves that she is getting big enough to play with. He is always talking to her and helps me out a lot. I am sometimes still surprised at how well he has adjusted to having a sibling. The best advice I can give you and I'm sure you may already know this is to praise them both and love them both at the same time. If baby G does something and you are excited about it include KB by telling her about it and tell her what a big girl she is and that she did the same thing when she was little. Or when you are loving on baby G give KB a big kiss too. Like I said you probably already know that but in my experience especially since I was an only child this has helped out a lot. Jd still gets a little bit jealous but not near like I had expected. I know everything is going to be great and KB is going to be such a big girl.

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  3. You'll be fine! It's definitely a huge adjustment, but it will come with time. My best advice for you with C/S #2 is no matter how much you want to pick her up, resist. I didn't even pick up Aer this time if I didn't have to, I had people hand her to me, and I think it helped so much with my recovery. Fox was really good about sitting in my lap nicely and not mashing my stomach in even though he's super rambunctious and has returned to being so. I think maybe little ones have a sense that something is different and just know. And I was expecting him to be incredibly jealous because he had 3 years as an only, but he has only acted up about her once in 6 months. KB might surprise you :)I'm excited for you, he's almost here!!

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  4. These are completely normal feelings. Even though my kiddos are 3 yrs apart, I felt the same way and sometimes still do. You will get the hang of having two kids and dividing your time. One suggestion I was given when I added the second child to the picture was to spend nap time doing something special with the older child even if it's only for 15 mins. Can't wait to see pictures of baby G.

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