I always feel like I'm 23 years old, but in reality I'm almost 27 years old. Where did the time go? At least the past 4 years - where did they go?  Sometimes things happen in my day (like, you know.. changing a diaper, cleaning up diced avocado, vacuuming for the 3rd time...) that make me seriously question how I got here so quickly.  I'm not exaggerating when I say it feels like just yesterday that I was blowing off class to go to happy hour.


I wish my family understood better when I tell them - And here, I've got nothin.  You name it, my family (both sides) is understanding about it. For instance: 
We won't be home for Christmas. 
I can't tell you when or where Jason's next port call is, or when he's coming home.  
We've decided to get pregnant again while KB is still under a year old.
Our next duty station might be across the country from you. (We're still pulling for Millington, don't worry!)
We're spending 5 days of our two weeks home in another state to go to a wedding.
We can't come home to visit because we have to move to Hawaii that week.
Seriously, we have been extremely blessed with families who just get it.


If you saw me when I'm all dressed up for a night out you'd think I was a total girly-girl, but if you saw me when I was 12, played soccer on a boy's team and had a terrible haircut to match, you'd think I was a total tomboy.


I feel like I'm in a totally different universe when (2 answers here:) 1. I meet women who don't have real opinions, who kowtow to their husbands' ideas whether they be good or bad, who haven't taken the time to educate themselves on real issues and current events.  Now, no one get offended - this hasn't happened to me in a long time. But when it has in the past, I was just floored at how submissive and ignorant some women are. I just don't understand! 
2. When I'm around people who don't care about college sports, for whatever reason.  WHAT?! What do you mean you "don't have a team"?? And did I hear you say you DON'T LIKE FOOTBALL??  Leave my sight, demon!  -  Seriously, it just doesn't make sense to me. My girliest of girl-friends all still love football, watch play for play just like their husbands/boyfriends/brothers, and will scream at a ref when he needs to be screamed at. Maybe it's just a Southern thing?


In honor of this being MFF #60..... 60 months ago, exactly 5 years ago (so on September 20, 2006), I lived in beautiful Oxford, Mississippi where I was a Senior at Ole Miss and my life was totally different because Uh. Remember the first paragraph you read? I was a Senior in college. I ditched class for happy hour at Parrish's... or just to nap.  I had this super easy job on campus where I could just sleep at my desk a lot of mornings. Exactly 5 years ago was the weekend before my 22nd birthday, and Jason drove down from Memphis to take me out. He was so, so sweet! He bought me the John Mayer Continuum CD and took me to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants on the Square. So that part is the same.. I have this awesome guy making plans for my birthday. (Which is Sunday!!)

My favorite thing that happened this week was going to the beach with Paula and then having dinner with more friends.  Getting out of the house is always better than staying in all day.


Find a penny, pick it up, all day long you'll be wondering what the hell you picked up along with that penny. Eh.. I'm not a germaphobe by any stretch of the imagination. I just don't pick up random pennies.


Autumn is officially here and my favorite part of the season is - There is no possible way for me to pick one thing. I love everything about fall! I love the way the air smells back home. It's pine straw and fresh air and smoke from someone's wood fire.  I love the way the trees look before they lose all their leaves. I love football.  I love meals that we only eat in cooler weather, like chili.  I love hearing a fireplace crackle. Seriously, I love every single thing about fall.  And yet again, I will tell you this is the only time of year that I get homesick.


One of the things I'd like to do before winter arrives is - Ummm..  I live in Hawaii. The only thing that's going to change with the "arrival of winter" is that the temps might go down a full five degrees. So, sure.. There are some things I'd like to do before, say, December arrives. Like, I still need to get KB's 1 year pictures done. (Whoops.) We need to do family photos, too.  


I might be willing to participate in MilSpouse Secret Santa. I can't decide..  

I've had more than one conversation recently about the "importance" of Facebook.  I feel like I've devoted entirely too much of my life to a website, but I don't know how to quit! I know for a fact that I could never just deactivate my account and step away. It's far too good of a tool for keeping up with friends and family, especially when we live so far apart. It just wouldn't be feasible to email all the pictures and updates of Katie Beth to our various family members and friends. My friend mentioned taking a break from Facebook and spending more time on her blog, and that may be an idea for me.  I would enjoy spending more time on my blog, that part is for sure.

So what's bothering me?

Everything.

Facebook used to be fun!  Now all I ever see are things that are insanely stupid, or political debates, or hurt feelings, or something else that makes me angry.  I see rudeness, obnoxiousness, and ignorance.  I don't allow those things in my REAL life, so why would I want to read about them online? It just makes my blood pressure go up.

Recently I've seen Facebook...

Wait.

Let me stop right there.

It is not Facebook's fault that people act the way they do on there.  It isn't Mark Zuckerberg's fault that people lose all social awareness when they let their fingers do the talking.  I need people to understand that just because their words are coming through a computer screen does not make them any less THEIR WORDS.  I think people get braver when they know the reader isn't looking them in the eye, and it makes me sad. Your words can be just as hurtful and harmful when they are written in an online medium as they are when said face to face. Really, folks.. you need to remember that.

So, I will change my words to say this:  Recently I've seen people USE Facebook to ruin friendships, relationships, families.. and I hate it.

Then there are the things that just make me roll my eyes. Seriously, people? Your relationship does not belong on Facebook. Sure, I talk about my Honey on Facebook all the time. Know what I don't do? Post when we argue. Post when we stop arguing. Post that we just made up, for Heaven's sake.. (You know what I mean!)

I know I'm not the first person to come to this conclusion, and I surely won't be the last. I also know that many of you are scoffing at my attempt at laying off Facebook. And sure, it may not come to anything. Then again, I may just post less on there, and more often on here and Twitter. I definitely will not be deactivating my account.. I mean, after all, where would I get my drama fix??

We had a bunch of appointments today, and they were all very productive!

We got KB's 12 month shots done, finally. I hate the thought of poor Pumpkin getting poked so I begged Jason to take the morning off work and go with us. I'll admit it - I'm a wuss when it comes to Baby Girl.  She was such a champ, though!

First up was her TB poke. It's required once a year for children in Hawaii because TB is still a problem here. Well, it's not required if the baby isn't in childcare, which KB isn't. I wanted to get it for her, though, because she does spend time with other children at her babysitter's and at church. You just never know, right?  My brave baby literally just watched the tech place the needle under her skin and inject her. Just watched it! She didn't even flinch!  Then we had to do HEP B. *It should have been finished at 6 months, but the awesome clinic in Guam didn't do it. Thanks guys, one more shot for Baby Girl to have to get today.* She handled that one like a rockstar, too. She watched, didn't even flinch, and didn't cry.  Then came Hep A.  Again, no crying.. but this time there was flinching. MMR was next, and she was beginning to be annoyed by the needles. She started crying about half-way through. Last was Chickenpox, and I'm sad to say she did cry. She didn't scream, though, and she only cried for about 30 seconds!  By the time we left the clinic 10 minutes later, she was blowing kisses to the nurses. She's such a sweet baby!

Next we met with KB's pediatrician for a weight check. On August 29, she weighed 14 lbs, 9 oz. Today she weighed 15 lbs, 1 oz. The ped explained that it was a good, normal growth rate, (13 grams a day.. and only other preemie parents will appreciate weight being measured in grams) but not the catch-up growth she would like to see in a preemie. Dr. Koss is referring us to a nutritionist at the hospital, with whom we'll probably meet next week. The nutritionist will have food/calorie/intake goals for KB to meet on a daily basis. I hope he/she has some ideas for fatty foods other than what we're doing right now, because we're lost. Right now she eats a lot of cottage cheese, avocado, and cheddar slices. She's doing alright with peanut butter, but it isn't her favorite.

Now on to me and BF2.  Today I met my OB for the second time. I got excited first of all because my blood pressure was so good at only 121/79. It's funny that I even notice that now, since my BP has been perfect my entire life. But when it sky-rockets once, you tend to notice the numbers later on.  Dr. Chapman came in and found BF2's heartbeat right away. I was hoping for an ultrasound, but it was not on her agenda for today.  We discussed a lot:  My baseline numbers (liver enzymes, platelets, etc) all came back completely normal from my first appointment.  I'm scheduled to meet my Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist in mid-October, around 18 weeks.  They'll run a bunch of tests on me and BF2, as well as do the full anatomy scan then.

Dr. Chapman put my mind a little further at rest about recurring problems. She told me that chances are higher in your first pregnancy, or your first pregnancy with a new father. Since Jason happens to be my baby daddy with both babies, my chances are lower of recurring issues.  I knew that little piece of information, but it was nice to hear it repeated by a professional.  We also discussed my aversion to meat. She'd like to see me getting a little more protein, so protein shakes and smoothies may be the answer.

All in all, today was great. I'm glad to know that I am progressing well, and that KB is gaining weight. Keep the prayers coming for all of us, please! We definitely appreciate them!

When I got pregnant with KB, I was obsessed with my weight.  Well, rather.. I was obsessed with being healthy and having a healthy pregnancy.  I continued to be active, but not overly so. I didn't eat too much, mostly because I had a tiny appetite.  The suggested weight gain for pregnant women in my weight bracket is 15 - 25 lbs. That was so easy for me! In fact, for most of my pregnancy, I was in the low end of my weight target.

Then, at 29 weeks I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. Ugh. I thought that only happened to unhealthy women! There I was walking daily, eating well, and it still happened! I did my research and no, it does not only happen to unhealthy or overweight women. Scientists believe that when Gestational Diabetes occurs, there is a malfunction in the placenta. So basically, you're doomed from the get-go, though your chances are higher if you're overweight.

I met with a new OB, a new nurse, and a nutritionist. They explained the new diet and how having GD can cause your baby to be extra-large. I had just done another ultrasound and found out that little KB was measuring a week behind. I mentioned this to the new OB, and she said "Oh, that's actually good for you.. maybe she won't be too big when she's born."

Well, I did my work and stuck to the recommended diet (for the most part). Three weeks later I went home to Mississippi and I had only gained a total of 12 pounds. I was so proud!  So by now you all know the story of how I delivered 5 days later at only 33 weeks. On delivery day, (again - just 5 days later), I had gained 19 lbs.. 7 pounds worth of water in just a few days. I lost 12 lbs overnight on the day I had KB.  And let's not forget, she was only 2 lbs, 11 oz.

So here I am, pregnant with BF2.  Though I had an incredible appetite for the first 4ish weeks that I was pregnant, it's tapered off. I've only gained 2 lbs so far, and again, I'm in the low end of my weight target.

So here's what scares me:  What if KB's low birth weight was partly due to my low weight gain?  Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to give myself an excuse to balloon up. I mean, I don't even know if I could! My appetite is ridiculously small, and I am not craving fast food or anything, so don't worry.

I am just so afraid of what happened to me with KB happening again. My chances are higher, at nearly 20%.  Even if HELLP doesn't recur, my chances of Toxemia, Pre-Ecclampsia or Pregnancy Induced Hypertension are all greatly increased. That's reason enough to not be huge since those issues are all more likely to occur with a higher weight gain. Then again, I'm living proof that they occur when you follow your weight target to the letter.

I'm so bothered by this!

There is some evidence that shows that HELLP is also a malfunction of the placenta. So just like GD, you are doomed from the get-go.  I pray that's true, and I'm just not doomed this time.  Scientists don't really know, though.

Sigh.

HUGE Sigh.

Right now, our weather is a little rainy, but what I'd really like is 70ish, sunny, with the smell of burning wood in the air and leaves falling off trees.
I like to let my hair down and go to sleep. Because that's the only time my hair comes down. Unless you've ever had a hair-pulling toddler, you don't get to judge.
Mommy Rambles made a post about heroes... my hero is  my honey, because he takes his job so seriously, and does what he needs to do without (much) complaint. I do the complaining for him :).
It's a weird combination, but I swear  'Nilla Wafers  and peanut butter  are a perfect pair!
Some may see the glass half empty and others may see it half full, but I just see yet another glass that's been left sitting around my house somewhere, and I need to clean it. Again.

I've already written once that this pregnancy is so different from my first one. It's held true so far. I am exhausted all the time, like I literally cannot get enough sleep. I'm sure that's partly due to having a one year old, but it can't be completely KB's fault. I have zero motivation, but I am also going to go ahead and blame that on the fact that my house is hot all the time.
(Insert: We live on the Windward side of Oahu, where it is rare for homes to be air conditioned. We knew this coming in, but we were under the impression that the breezes [WINDward, get it?] would keep us cool. We got gypped.  Our house has no ventilation through the living room except for one little place, and really no ventilation in the kitchen/dining room. I actually sweat while I try to get KB to eat anything. Insert over.)
My bedroom can actually get up to about 90 degrees, and I know the kitchen is hotter. So I never want to clean.. It's just too blame hot!

I began feeling little flutters from this little guy/gal last Friday. I feel him/her about once a day, and I love it. My next appointment with my awesome OB is in less than a week. I can't wait! I'm so hoping that she will do another ultrasound so that we get to see our little sea monkey.

KB is quickly becoming a little toddler. We caught her standing on her own about a week ago. She hasn't managed to stand for longer than 10 - 15 seconds, but she's making such progress!  We've also been working hard on getting her to gain weight, per the pediatrician. The ped's suggestion was the easiest thing you can imagine, high fat foods. I was sort of at a loss as to what to feed her to begin with. Then I had a good, long think about what foods I love but try not to eat too much of. So here we are - eating a lot of cheese and peanut butter.  Her favorites are cheddar slices and cottage cheese, but she also really likes guacomole, cream cheese and yogurt.

My little Pumpkin's new thing is that everything/everybody is "sweet". As in, "Sweet Mommy", "Sweet Daddy", "Sweet Dolly", etc. She makes a shhhhh sound (I guess for "sweet") and then she pets whatever she is holding or whoever is holding her. We always add in the "Sweet" part for her. Today I caught her giving herself kisses in the mirror, and then she started petting herself in the mirror making the "Ssshhh" sound. She's so smart, and so incredibly cute at the same time!

Kissing the best looking baby she could find

Giving "Sweet" pets

I have an embarrassing confession to make. And I really mean embarrassing.. Not like, "I still use a nightlight", or "I loved Twilight!" I'm talking really embarrassing. I'm writing it here because I have to get it out, and I am really too embarrassed to talk to any of my friends in real life.. even my husband.  You've been warned.

I, Emily, am absolutely petrified that Doomsday is going to happen any day, and I can't remember a time when I didn't think like this.  I don't advertise it because I don't want people to think that I actually believe the things I see in movies or whatever.  I don't! I am just so afraid of what my world would be like if they did happen.  I absolutely refused to go see Armageddon with my sane, normal 14 year old friends when it came out. I was too afraid to watch it! I never saw the other one that came out that year, either.. the one with the ugly guy with the weird face... Oh, Elijah Wood.

I was probably the only 14 - 15 year old I knew of who was so terrified of Y2K. I remember sneaking used soda bottles, filling them with water, and storing them in the tornado shelter. I did that for months until somebody found them. Then my family made me feel silly, as they should have. Somebody pointed out to me that the water wouldn't still be good in bottles that weren't sealed.  Oh. 15 year old me didn't think that one through..  I vividly remember going with my grandmother to visit her sister on Dec. 31, 1999.  She had CNN or something similar on tv, and they showed where midnight came and went in Japan, and nothing bad happened. I calmed down a little then.  My three best friends came over that night so we could ring in the New Year together. At 12:00, the radio station we were listening to play "It's The End of The World As We Know It", went completely silent. I almost lost my mind before the DJ came over the air and said "Just kidding!"

When I first read about the Mayan calendar prophecy for 2012, I didn't exactly panic, because I was older and wiser.  I did, however, let it creep into a little place in my brain where it's been hiding out all this time. It sneaks up on me every now and then and I have little paranoid moments. For example: It is imperative in my mind that my family be away from Hawaii when Dec. 22, 2012 comes. We must not be here! Volcanoes may erupt! Tsunamis may crash over the entire island! We must be with our families in Mississippi or Tennessee, where there are no close volcanoes or beaches.

SEE?!  I'm crazy, and it's driving me even crazier!  I don't know what's made it worse lately.. if it's all of the crazy weather and natural disasters, or if it's the History Channel showing 2012 disaster scenario/scare-the-beejeebus-out-of-people shows on some morbid 24 hour loop.  What I do know is that I'm so sick of thinking about it. I want to live like a normal 26 year old woman, not like some Doomsday prophecy freak! I don't want to feel like I should be stock-piling canned goods in my laundry room.

As a Christian, I was raised to believe that God would care for his children.  I believe that, I really do.  But, just what if God's plan is for us to suffer through some of the Tribulations that Revelations promise?  I can't help thinking about it! Last week I mentioned all of this to my little brother, whose advice was to stop watching the news. I really think I should, but I don't think that will happen.

Now, for the last little bit. I'm sure there is someone who will read this and think "I do that, too!"  I can't decide if I want you to tell me that you do or not. Rather than thinking that I might be justified in this craziness, I'd prefer to think that it's all silliness. I would love for somebody to point out to me how ridiculous this is. Use scripture, use your own logic, whatever you've got.. but somebody, for the love of Pete, tell me to stop!

My plans for this weekend include attending a party with friends but what I’d really like to do is 
- sit in the Grove with a ton of drunken idiots. Holy moly, I miss Mississippi right now. I miss Oxford. I miss Ole Miss. I miss the smell of pine straw and magnolias. I miss making fun of idiot girls running around hotter-than-Hades Mississippi in Ugg boots.. with Nike shorts and extra large fraternity t-shirts. I miss Rebel football more than anyone could understand, unless said anyone has also moved away and been unable to get back for a single game in 2 seasons. It's heartbreaking.


I consider the Labor Day holiday
- a reason to hang out with friends and eat a ton of food. But isn't that the point of most holidays, at least to some extent?


My favorite meal for cookouts is grilled everything, but my ??? wouldn’t agree. - Sorry, but I don't know anyone who doesn't agree here.


So far, my favorite part of summer has been spending time with my little family. This is the first summer that Jason and I have been together more than we've been apart. I've loved every minute!


When it comes to deployments, my philosophy is "time flies when you're having fun."  - You HAVE TO keep busy! This is a little easier when your husband is part of a sea command, I think, at least in the Bubble Head community. We are a small, close-knit little group, so we take care of each other. We plan shopping trips, dinners, lunches, drinks on someone's patio.. anything to keep our minds off the fact that we haven't gotten so much as an email in weeks.